I, Katy, am writing this out today for two reasons, one is for me, I seem to be able to think through things more cohesively if I talk or write them out, and the second, or rather the reason that I’m sharing it, is in case somebody else out there also has to be reminded of some truth.
Glancing over my time sheet… “yup, not the great week of language it was supposed to be…again. I think through all the reasons our hours have been low lately: sickness (not our fault, but maybe I could’ve pushed past it), went out of town (but that was such a nice break, plus we’d been needing to do get that paperwork done). But even if we had less session time, I could’ve spent more time listening to our recordings…or at least paying better attention as I listened and not gotten so distracted. Maybe I should’ve visited people more. When I talked to that lady I probably should’ve insisted we talk in Jula instead of French.” And all this is just the language part, I haven’t even started on the feelings of guilt and second guessing in my parenting, role as a wife, keeping up with distant friends…so on and so forth.
Is this what God desires of me? Me, one of God’s children spending hours a day pulling out imaginary measuring tapes to see how I measure up, seeing if I make the cut using other people’s actions, their comments, and my feelings to decide?
What if I used the Bible as my guide? What if I used a simple little verse to show me what to do?
Psalm 34:1 says “I will praise the LORD at all times; my mouth will continually praise him.”
Instead of, “Are people gonna think my progress in language is too slow?”
Am I praising the Lord that He loves me? (John 3:16)
Instead of worrying if I have things planned out just right,
Am I praising God for great records of stories like Joseph’s? It wasn’t Joseph who had things planned out just right, it was God that did. (Genesis 45:7-8)
Instead of fretting over my predictions of next week’s accomplishments,
Is my mouth worshiping the God who clothes the flowers of the fields? (Matthew 6:28-30)
Don’t you know Katy? Your Father is the Maker of the universe, He doesn’t get worn out and tired, His wisdom is limitless (Isaiah 40:28) and He loves you and is with you… (Hebrews 13:5)
Then as I reflect on God, my thoughts centered around myself begin fading, and my heart calms in a peace that goes beyond understanding. (Philippians 4:6-7)