It’s rather comical (since you can’t see me right now I will tell you there is a hint of sarcasm in my tone) when we have certain expectations of something and those expectations get stomped on and shattered.
Back when we were living in Missouri attending the Missionary Training I had dreams about what partnership development would look like. I pictured our family in a cozy little basement apartment or in a little cottage somewhere…you know, someone’s second home that they really weren’t using. I pictured having people in and out of our home a lot, preparing meals, having coffee and dessert as we talked about Tanzania. I pictured being in one place. Not five places in four months. Yes, you heard that right, FIVE! Although at times I fall into the trap of dissatisfaction, I don’t say this to make you feel sorry for me! I say this simply so I can be reminded that God’s plans are SO much different than ours, not to mention His timing.
I will be the first to tell you that I don’t understand God and the way that He works. But I DO know that He does work ALL things together for our GOOD! In the midst of our transition from town to town and house to house God has shown us His faithfulness, His provision and His strength! As we wait for Him to provide permanent housing, we are reminded that although we had certain expectations of this time, He is more concerned about our hearts and our day to day walk with HIM. See, it’s not just about the “end goal” of getting to Tanzania to reach the lost with the Gospel, but rather the here and now. What does God have for me to learn TODAY? I am convinced that all of these day to day lessons are going better equip me for the day my feet hit the ground in Tanzania.
To prove that God is interested in where I am today, take a look at these notes from Church this morning…
It’s all about God and His timing and His way! Thankful it’s not up to me otherwise I would be stuck in a perpetual MESS!
Speaking of unmet expectations…today was a day of them…
Poor Chandler always tries to make holidays special, although he is not much of a celebratory kind of guy. Well this morning when the girls woke up Chandler’s first thought was to call his mom, “G-mama,” so the girls could wish her a happy mother’s day. After breakfast I asked Selah who mother’s day was for, just out of curiosity, and she said “G-mama.” My feelings were officially hurt. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my mother-in-law!!! I was just hoping to get a little mother’s day recognition too! I will tell you that Chandler did have cards waiting for me when I woke up, along with coffee and a candy bar for later…however, he just forgot to mention to our girls that it was a special day.
We went on to church…it was a great service and I left feeling challenged and strengthened. We went home, ate lunch and put the girls and Gideon down for their naps. We decided to wake them up at 4pm for an early dinner out. MISTAKE!!! Not the waking them up part, but rather the going out part. Dinner out with 3 kids 3 and under is probably never a good idea. Dinner consisted of a grumpy Selah who didn’t want her dinner or choice of drink, loud Miriam who kept chewing on the nasty highchair and thankfully a sleeping little Gideon. Chandler left the table early with Miriam since she was drawing a little too much unwanted attention. That left me with Selah, Gideon, a diaper bag, a take out box, and 2 drinks to-go! Lets just say that before we made it out of Cracker Barrel a poor employee was cleaning up a sticky puddle of sweet tea! I was reminded tonight that I am going to miss these days! I know it’s true. However, today, my expectations were not quite met. But that’s okay. God is using it all to teach me and grow me!
We did sneak out with a few pictures to try to make it look like we had a fun time 🙂
So goes our life on our journey to MAKE HIM KNOWN in Southeast Africa. Although it’s not always pretty, I am thankful the Lord specializes in using the weak and the foolish!
Thanks for reading.
-Jamie
John and Asmara Anyan says
My friend! Thanks for your honesty and your candid account of Mother’s Day that reminds me of several of our “special” outings that just ended in crabby kids and sticky messes :). Love you guys and are praying for you!