It was all downhill after that …

Mountain driving can be dangerous.

Have you ever been coming around a blind curve, in the wrong lane, and suddenly seen a car coming your way?

I have, but it wasn’t my fault. Really. It was the mahout’s fault. He should have had the elephant in its own lane, which in Thailand is on the left side of the road. But we were going to be leaving the road for a trail on the right, and no harm was done – the car simply detoured around us.

Oh, right – yes, Julie and I were riding the elephant.

A group of enterprising Red Karens have started a business charging tourists to ride elephants, and Peter and Ochie Bangcong, who work among the Red Karens, just had to take us to see it. And to ride. So we did. Our first elephant ride.

A little bit down the trail, the mahout clambered down and invited me to move from the seat on the back of the elephant to the elephant’s neck, just behind the ears. It was, at first, a bit like riding a horse. A very big horse.

Did I mention I don’t particularly like riding horses?

And then it got worse.

We were going downhill, toward the creek. And when elephants go downhill, they “slope.” Not only that, but they tend to put their heads down. OK, so maybe not all elephants do that, but every elephant I’ve ever ridden has.

And sitting there on the neck, sloping down already, with the head going forward, all I could think was, “I’m going to slide forward and fall headfirst right in front of this elephant and he’s going to walk over me before he even realizes his load is lighter.”

With nothing to grab onto – no pommel on a saddle, no reigns, no neck – I braced the heels of hands on his head and splayed my fingers for maximum traction. I certainly hope that felt like a massage to him, and not like somebody squeezing his brains. If he was annoyed, he hid it well.

I did actually enjoy it, and Julie did too, and the enterprising Red Karens earned a little money at the same time. Not nearly as much as they earned off the tourists from Spain who poured out of the tour bus after us, but still a nice amount for their efforts.