We have our names now! Cali’s name is Mema, Karina is Mashe, and Isaiah is Chana Pei. Cali’s name, as far as we know, is just a girl’s name. Karina’s name is the word for the traditional red paint that many indigenous peoples use to decorate themselves. Isaiah’s name means Oriole Feather. My name is Yasa (just another girl’s name). But I am also called Memaewa (Mema’s mother), which is a more respectful way of referring to an adult. Jevon is called Memapapa (Mema’s father), but the guys his own age still call him by his childhood name, Mesho.
It’s nice to have an answer, now, when people point (with their lower lip) at one of my kids and ask “What’s his name?”. And it’s also nice to know, when I hear someone yell “Yasa!”, that I’m supposed to respond. But only a handful of people actually call out my name to get my attention. One guy walks by my house and calls out, “Goodmorning, Aunt on the Father’s side”, and another says, “Get me a glass of water please, daughter of my Father’s sister or Mother’s brother”. I just assume that he is talking to me, because it’s my house and I have water. Some of the little kids stand outside yelling a variety of relational titles one by one, trying each one out to see which one works on me – that is, which one I will respond to. Too bad I don’t have the foggiest clue which title I am supposed to respond to for which child. Presumably, each one of them would be related to me in a different way. So for one of them, I should answer to one title, and to the other, I should answer to a different title. But I haven’t figured out how I’m related to whom. And apparently they haven’t figured it out yet either. They are just hoping I will know and I am just wishing that they would know.
When we were given names, we were given a lot MORE than just names. The names that were given to us were chosen based on a family identity and relationships which were also bestowed on us at the same time. And it seems to me, at least from my initial observations, that our relational identity matters a lot more than our names.
From time to time, people come to us informing us of how we are related to them, what they will call us and what we are supposed to call them. THAT is a really big help. Or at least it WOULD be a really big help, if I would remember to always have my notebook with me and always write down it down right away. In this world which we have now become a part of, it is respectful to address people (especially people older than you) by relationship, not by name. For example, if I am talking directly to my aunt, I should call her Aunt, and not use her name. But the really confusing part for us, is that uncle is not just uncle, and aunt is not just aunt. Your mother’s sister is one thing to you and your father’s sister is not the same thing. Your mother’s brother is one thing to you and your father’s brother is something else. Since we don’t understand this kinship system yet (not even Jevon understands it yet) we are just…
…confused.
For now.
That’s okay. It’s all part of the package we received when we were given the gift of being involved in cross-cultural missions. The mystery of our names and kinships will unravel itself in time. We hope. 🙂
I think it might be time to pull out those old MTC notes on the various types of kinship systems in the world…if I can remember where we filed them away…
…and pray for God to open our eyes and wrap our brains around it all.
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