{"id":139,"date":"2014-10-14T16:39:27","date_gmt":"2014-10-14T21:39:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/?p=139"},"modified":"2014-10-14T16:39:27","modified_gmt":"2014-10-14T21:39:27","slug":"ridin-the-whirlwind-eh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/2014\/10\/14\/ridin-the-whirlwind-eh\/","title":{"rendered":"Ridin’ the Whirlwind, eh?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"whirlwind\"<\/a>i’ve been asked, more than a few times over the last couple days, if i felt like my world had been turned upside down. \u00a0the first time i laughed and said yes. \u00a0then i cried a little bit inside. \u00a0the next time i was asked, it took me a bit longer to keep the tears back. \u00a0yesterday, i had to admit that it didn’t feel like my world was upside down anymore. \u00a0in reality, i could hardly tell which way was up. \u00a0i sat in the waiting area outside the NICU while the team of nurses and \u00a0doctors placed a PICC line into my boy. \u00a0i tried to get the “homework” done, all the information that the hospital needs… but i couldn’t get my brain fog to clear. \u00a0the truth was so hard to hold on to. \u00a0so i put my head back and started talking. \u00a0i think i got about 3 or 4 words out.<\/p>\n

“i just can’t…” \u00a0was all it took for THE Truth to start talking. \u00a0it was like my heavenly Father\"father<\/a> was right there. \u00a0“I know you can’t. You never could. \u00a0You try real hard, but you’re still not getting it, Joshua. \u00a0How long do you think you can keep this show up? You know that I’ve been waiting for you to stop and ask me, right? \u00a0I’ve been telling you for years, in my Word, that THIS is what I do, right? How about you sit and think about that for a minute… \u00a0Think about all the trials I brought my people through. \u00a0Think about it. \u00a0Think about ALL the times when your stubbornness and arrogance caught up to YOU. \u00a0Remember how I was always there to remind YOU\u00a0that your tantrums didn’t surprise me? \u00a0I saw what was coming, before you did. \u00a0If you’d just slow down and listen to me, we might have avoided some of those.” i got my breath back and my nose to stop dripping long enough to ask, “but what about this…” \u00a0and there He STILL was. \u00a0“Hey, hey, HEY. This wasn’t your ‘fault.’ \u00a0You\u00a0can’t control what happens in there. \u00a0I am the Giver of life. \u00a0I am the One Who Knows All Things, will you trust me with this, too? \u00a0I am the Giver of Grace.” \u00a0“but i don’t deserve that, i don’t deserve all the gifts you’ve given me, i don’t deserve the beautiful children you’ve blessed me with, i don’t deserve the wife i love, i don’t deserve the…” \u00a0AGAIN, it was like He was right THERE, “Well, of course you don’t. \u00a0IF you deserved it, it would NOT be grace, would it? \u00a0Just accept it, \u00a0son. \u00a0Just let me do what I do. \u00a0I’ve got a whole bunch of people that are waiting to help. \u00a0Will you trust me with this? \u00a0Don’t you actually HAVE to trust me with this?” \u00a0exhale. \u00a0sigh of relief…<\/p>\n

\"Helping-others\"<\/a>right now: \u00a0there are people that i don’t know, taking care of things that i was unaware of being needful for. \u00a0 Praise the Lord for them. \u00a0there are doctors that i cannot afford, using medical skills and tools that i was unaware of the existence of, to keep my wife and child alive. \u00a0Praise the Lord for them. \u00a0there are nurses watching my wife and child 24\/7 doing all they can to keep them clean and growing\/healing, with skills and patience beyond my understanding. \u00a0Praise the Lord for them. \u00a0there are family members (spiritual and physical) graciously serving “my other littles” so that i can be with Ezra. \u00a0Praise the Lord for them.<\/p>\n

i am undeservedly blessed by my heavenly Father, yet again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

i’ve been asked, more than a few times over the last couple days, if i felt like my world had been turned upside down. \u00a0the first time i laughed and said yes. \u00a0then i cried a little bit inside. \u00a0the next time i was asked, it took me a bit longer to keep the tears […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":330,"featured_media":143,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,66895],"tags":[448,66896,488,637],"class_list":{"0":"post-139","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-family","8":"category-ministry","9":"category-prayer-details","10":"tag-ethnos360","11":"tag-ezra","12":"tag-grace","13":"tag-new-tribes-mission","14":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/330"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=139"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/143"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/joshua-mathew\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}