Trying to recover from typhoid has given me more free time than I know what to do with. Doctors suggest that rest and “stress free” living are keys to recovery, so I\u2019m in the city doing, well, nothing much.\u00a0 And doing nothing has given me plenty of time to think.<\/p>\n
Mostly, my thoughts have focused on the things I wish I were doing: finishing my literacy primers (so close!), helping my co-workers, spending time with my Nahuatl friends, writing updates\u2026 At one point I even wished I had brought my receipts out of the village with me so that I could work on my taxes! I remember thinking, \u201cAt least I could have checked one<\/em> thing from my list.\u201d<\/p>\n My attitude of late has been poor. And I\u2019ve had plenty of down time to reflect on its pathetic-ness.\u00a0 One night I headed up to the roof, where there is cool breeze and a view of the stars.\u00a0 As I sat there, trying to pray, I simply started crying.\u00a0 I kept thinking, \u201cI\u2019m not very good at trusting you, God.\u00a0 I\u2019m not very good at loving you.\u00a0 I\u2019m not very good at having faith in you.\u00a0 I\u2019m pretty much only good at doing things for you.\u201d<\/p>\n But God does not need me to do things. Don\u2019t misunderstand me; I know that works are an important part of Christian life.\u00a0 But God desires a heart that is totally wrapped up in him, and thus works that flow out of him.\u00a0 He desires faith, not sacrifice.\u00a0 He wants love, not mountain-moving.<\/p>\n There\u2019s no fancy conclusion to this story. It\u2019s too early.\u00a0 The only thing I can say is that I have admitted I\u2019m not where I need to be.\u00a0 I\u2019m fessing up that in the past I\u2019ve redefined \u201cwalking with<\/em> God\u201d as \u201cworking for<\/em> God.\u201d\u00a0 And right now, I\u2019m out of work and asking God to teach me to walk better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Trying to recover from typhoid has given me more free time than I know what to do with. Doctors suggest that rest and “stress free” living are keys to recovery, so I\u2019m in the city doing, well, nothing much.\u00a0 And doing nothing has given me plenty of time to think. Mostly, my thoughts have focused […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":331,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6402,143],"tags":[436,6416],"class_list":{"0":"post-871","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-my-reflections","7":"category-prayer-request","8":"tag-health","9":"tag-my-thoughts","10":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/871","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/331"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=871"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/871\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=871"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=871"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ethnos360.org\/katie-moore\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=871"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}