This question suffers the same consequences sociologically, as marital relationships suffer in an environment of assumption. As societies under any culture assume that the institution of marriage is self defined and impervious to cultural change it is left vulnerable and is subject to the prevailing winds of modern culture. In the same way that most married couples take each other for granted, societies can take the institution of marriage for granted and fail to adjust social and cultural barriers resulting in weakening if not destroying the institution. I am no exception, even though I serve as the counseling Elder at my church and I spend hours each week caring for and defending the institution of marriage, I am thrilled to finely have a working definition that I am comfortable with. I have been surprised to realize how much the apathy of the world towards the institution of marriage, has corrupted my Christian worldview.
There is no subculture of any society more adversely affected by the weakening of the institution of marriage than Christianity. It is well said; “As goes the home, so goes the Church.” This statement reveals the Symbiotic relationship between the Church and family, for just as the Church is only as strong as the family (marriage), so marriages are dependent upon the Church for its support and biblical definition. This principle is reflected in Scripture this way; “for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the Church, because we are members of His body. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the Church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.” (Eph 5:29-33 NAS)
If we accept the premise that “the strength of the Church is only a reflection of the strength of its families” and that “the Church is the Guardian of the definition of a biblical marriage” then we are faced with the task of defining “marriage.” Professor Stanley Latta of Grace University defines marriage this way; ” Marriage: it is the unique lifetime commitment between one man and one woman to reflect the love Jesus Christ has for his Church to the world.” I believe this to be an excellent definition of the institution of marriage yet I feel that the Church must be held to even a higher standard. I am certain that there are marriages in the world that reflect the above definition but the Church must have the standard of God being the head of every marriage. In other words, I believe we should define the Christian marriage with this modification; “Marriage: it is the unique lifetime commitment between one man and one woman with Christ as the head and reflects the love and leadership Jesus Christ gives to his Church.” By acknowledging the similarities and differences of the two definitions of marriage listed above, we not only recognize the existence of good “marriages” outside the Church, but we also recognize that as Christians we are held to an even higher standard than to have a “good marriage.”