Seth and Rochelle Callahan
  • Home
  • About
  • Give
  • Photos
  • Subscribe
  • Contact


Live To Die Another Day

June 13, 2016 by Seth and Rochelle Callahan

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The Jungle and I have this little game that we’ve developed. The rules are fairly simple: I in some way insinuate to my wife that I think I’ve finally bug-proofed our house, and then The Jungle responds by unleashing one of its horribly terrifying creatures into our home. It’s sort of like non-verbal, playful banter, except that I absolutely HATE IT.

Our most recent exchange was two nights ago. Rochelle and I had recently concluded that we could stop using our mosquito net at night. We hadn’t had any issues with creepy-crawlies for the last several weeks, since I bathed our house posts and downstairs office (and every other exterior surface I could reach) with several gallons of industrial grade insecticide, so it had started to feel like an unnecessary precaution. Apparently, The Jungle heard that we were getting cocky.

After taking my nightly shower, I walked into our bedroom to put on my PJs. Wearing nothing but a Lilo and Stitch bath towel*, I turned on the light and was reaching for a pair of shorts, when I felt a unique sensation along my lower calf. It’s a hard feeling to describe to someone who has never experienced it for themselves, but I’ll try: it felt something like 50 sharp, pointy legs were scurrying up past my ankle. Actually, it felt EXACTLY like that.

In the nanoseconds that followed, I made several quick deductions:

  • The legs had a surprising grip, leading me to speculate that the creature was strong.
  • I was simultaneously feeling its legs both on my ankle and part way up my calf, which gave a shocking indication as to its size.
  • It was moving quickly, and it was moving UP, which meant that this whole thing was about to go from BAD to WORSE.
  • It is impossible to be brave when wearing a Disney-themed bath towel.

Having pondered my situation for the lesser part of 3/10 of a second, I responded accordingly by leaping into the air, kicking my feet and screaming like a little girl.** When I landed back on the floor, I frantically began looking around for whatever I had just flung off of me. I was getting concerned that I couldn’t find it when it STARTED CRAWLING UP MY LEG AGAIN!

After kicking it off a second time, I was finally able to lay eyes on it. A 6-inch long, poisonous centipede*** was scurrying across my bedroom floor! (For those readers who use the metric system, this measurement is equivalent to around 2 meters.) How IN THE WORLD these demon spawn keep coming into my house, I have no idea, but I am thoroughly sick of their party-crashing habits!

Thankfully, I have several cans of neurotoxic, aerosol insecticide stationed throughout the house for just such an emergency, so disaster was averted (though the emotional scarring appears to be permanent). In a great show of masculine prowess, I sprayed the intruder liberally with Mortein, covered his thrashing, grotesque body with a Tupperware and put a book on it.

At first, I was tempted to think of this as a victory over The Jungle, but later on that night on my way to the bathroom, I stepped on a rubber band in the dark and just about killed myself performing evasive maneuvers, so now I’m thinking that I’ll call it a draw.

And, yes, we will be using our mosquito net for the foreseeable future.

*The yellow towel that is shaped like a duck was dirty, so my options were limited.

**Chuck Norris would have done the same thing in this situation.

***Not deadly poisonous, but super-duper-painful poisonous. I’ve been promised by every single person that I’ve met who has been stung by one that it will be horribly painful for a day and a half, without reprieve. Some village ladies have said that it’s worse than childbirth. Our mission Dr. has said that the only medication that might help is morphine. 😛

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Ethnos360, jungle bugs, New Tribes Mission, Papua New Guinea

More Posts:

« The Road (and River) to Humility
Griffin’s New Tooth »

Comments

  1. Diane Price says

    November 5, 2018 at 11:02 pm

    I so enjoyed your presentation at Faith Bible Church in Littleton, NH. in October! I so admire you, your wife, and your amazing children! Thank you for the N. G. coin. I am going to turn it into a necklace and send it to my grandson in Tennessee for his birthday.
    Your faith and forthrightness is a blessing. Prayers for each of you.

    Sincerely,
    Diane Price
    East Concord, Vermont

  2. Martha says

    July 18, 2016 at 11:29 am

    I can commiserate with you because I was in Bolivia in the Peace Corps 50 years ago and we had all kinds of creepy crawly things even though I had screens on the windows and doors and slept in a mosquito net. Probably the scariest one was when I woke up as a tarantula crawled across my face and I swatted it and heard it hit the wall, or the coral snake under my bed. . I wasn’t a Christian then. God bless you & keep you & yours safe is my prayer.

  3. Deb Shimmin says

    July 13, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    Enjoyed your story. And am thankful you weren’t stung. I had a 1″ centipede on my leg once and that was creepy enough. Even those tiny ones can sting, which I found out when I mistakenly tried to flick it off without looking to see what I was dealing with. I was stung by a big one once and I will vouch that the pain is excrutiating, and worse than childbirth because it doesn’t let up for a couple days. God was good to protect us from most of the creepy crawlies we found in our village house that we dispatched to wherever creatures go when they are somewhere they shouldn’t be and there is something nearby that can be used to kill them. I prayed for God’s protection for your family this morning!

  4. Wes Dyck says

    July 11, 2016 at 9:04 pm

    Been there done that. Brenda has been bit multiple times and I only once. The pain can last at least two day. My scariest moment with those centipedes was putting on my swimming trunks and seeing one fall out. (at knee level fortunately!)

  5. AbigaiL says

    July 2, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    Hi I just came across your blog and then I read this post! So funny, I very much appreciate your attitude about the whole thing. I confess this is my greatest fear and I always tell God either he miraculously makes me extremely brave and unafraid of those creepies or please don’t send me there…This is tough but it shows it is worth paying any price. Many blessings, just prayed for you

  6. Barb lewis says

    June 16, 2016 at 8:14 am

    Ouch and scream. You are so brave. I would never survive. And you are as funny as you are courageous. Blessings dear ones.

  7. Danae says

    June 14, 2016 at 6:00 pm

    Loved your humorous rendition of the experience. But I know that it’s not fun when you’re battling these critters from the jungle. And I wonder what Rochelle and your kids thought when you screamed! Must have scared the heebie-jeebies out of them! Good thing you weren’t bitten! Will include jungle critters (the absence of them) in my prayers for you! Love, Danae

  8. Simon says

    June 14, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    That’s a world record! 2m!!
    Check your metric conversion ;o)
    I think it’s more like 15cm.
    But they are scary. Hate them and would also scream like a girl!

  9. Pamela Tucker says

    June 14, 2016 at 10:08 am

    Bwahahaha oh Seth you are hilarious!

  10. Rachel Baur says

    June 14, 2016 at 8:34 am

    It is impossible to be brave wearing a Disney themed bath towel….almost fell over I was laughing so hard. ( Also glad you did not get bit)

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Check Out Our Family’s Website!

Would You Like To Receive Our (kind of) Regular Family Newsletters?

* = required field

The Truth of the Matter

We’re Going to See a Baptism!*

When Life Pukes On Your Parade

Live To Die Another Day

History in the Making

Forest Gump and the Gospel

Jungle to Jungle

The Road (and River) to Humility

Blissful Dreams and Brutal Nightmares

Contentment: Friend or Foe?

  • About
  • Blog
  • Home
  • Give
  • Photos
  • Subscribe
  • Contact

Disclaimer: This personal ministry website is provided by Ethnos360 as a courtesy to its members. Ethnos360 makes no warranty regarding the accuracy of the information on these pages. Opinions expressed are provided by members in good faith, but are entirely those of the member and do not necessarily represent policy, doctrinal position, or opinions of Ethnos360. If you encounter information that you consider questionable, please e-mail the Ethnos360 web team.

Seth and Rochelle Callahan

© Copyright 2021 Ethnos360. All rights reserved.

Log In

  • 