I wrote a separate post earlier broaching the topic of transparency among believers, and how I think it is a necessary part of a healthy Christian life to be honest with one another about where we are in our spiritual journeys. Basically, that whole post was a set-up for this one.
As a family, we just finished up our first 4-year term over in Papua New Guinea (PNG). We came back in the summer and are currently 6 months into a 9-month Home Assignment (HA). As you might imagine, much of our time at home has been spent processing what we have been through over the past several years overseas. And now that we are entering into the final 1/3 of our HA, many of our thoughts are beginning to move on to what things we will most likely be facing when we go back.
And here’s the truth of it: I don’t want to go back.
You may not know this about me, but I don’t like intense heat and humidity. I don’t like poisonous insects in my underwear. I don’t like malaria infested jungle swamps. I don’t like being the on-call, go-to guy for third degree burns, bush knife gashes, and cerebral malaria. I don’t like learning a (before 2 years ago) unwritten language. I don’t like trying to function in a culture that is drastically different than my own in almost every way. I don’t like living off of non-perishable food and not having fresh produce available for my children. I don’t like being 9,000 miles away from all of my family.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that I genuinely DISLIKE all of those things. I hope it isn’t too shocking of a thing for you to hear me to say that. But it’s true. I would much rather stay here than go.
I feel like it’s worth me mentioning this, because as I have been sharing with different people here in the States about what we have been up to among the Iski over the last few years, I don’t feel like I have expressed this sentiment all that well. Usually, when I finish sharing about some of our context in the bush people will come and strike up a conversation with comments similar to:
“Wow. I can’t imagine trying to raise small children in the jungle!”
“That’s so great what you’re doing. I could never do that. I hate bugs!”
“I hated taking a foreign language in high school. It’s a good thing God called YOU to work with an unreached people group. I couldn’t do it!”
What always stands out to me in those conversations is that those comments are usually exclusive in their nature. That is to say, they are framed as if it is mutually understood that the speakers believe that I am an outlier in regards to the emotion they are referencing. THEY couldn’t do it, because THEY don’t like bugs… but I can, because I DO? THEY don’t like learning language… but I DO? THEY care too much about their children’s well-being… but we are unfazed by the idea of homeschooling in a jungle swamp?
Those types of conversations make me think that there may exist a bit of confusion in the minds of some as to why we choose to live among a remote people group halfway around the world. I think some people categorize it similarly to how most of us would view someone who likes eating partially developed bird eggs*: “I think that’s bizarre and gross, but if that’s your thing, then go for it.”
Another way of expressing this sentiment might be, “Because I don’t want to do what you are doing, but you ARE doing it, you must not feel the same way I do about the things that make me not want to do it.”
And that’s where I take issue. Rochelle and I are not exceptional people with an odd fascination for hard living. We do not get any special thrills out of experiencing any of the things that I mentioned in my big, whiny paragraph at the top. We do not enjoy a vast majority of the aspects our jungle living entails.
I was privileged with the opportunity of sharing at the Ethnos360 Bible Institute a while ago, and I left this thought with the students: “God doesn’t ask us to do what we want to do. He asks us to do what He asks us to do.”
It’s not overly profound, I know, but I feel like it is an oft-overlooked pillar of the Christian life. My natural enjoyment, or interest, in a particular aspect of what Christ has called us to do here on earth is irrelevant as to whether or not I should be willing to do it.
Has Christ clearly charged the Church with reaching the ends of the earth with the Gospel? Are there still over 2,000 languages without access to that Gospel message in their mother-tongue? Am I physically healthy enough to able to take an active part in seeing the Gospel brought to those people?
If my answers to those questions are yes, then I don’t really see where my antithetical opinions hold a whole lot of weight. I couldn’t even get out of jury duty with the excuses I try:
Jesus: “I have been given ALL AUTHORITY in heaven and on earth. I want my Church to take my Good News to every tribe, tongue, and nation!”
Seth: “Sorry, could I be excused from that, please?”
Jesus: “Why?”
Seth: “It’s just that I would much rather NOT do that. I’ve made a bunch of plans already, and investing everything in reaching those people would pretty much ruin everything.”
Jesus: “But I have ALL AUTHORITY… and I just told you all to get busy on this thing.”
Seth: “Yeah, but the thing is, I also really don’t like poisonous centipedes. They’re super scary and icky.”
Jesus: “Yeah, you’re right. They are pretty icky. OK, you can go follow your dreams instead.”
See? Conversations like that just make me sound like a weenie.
That leaves me in my current situation, asking myself questions like these: Am I willing to partake in a task, the details of which I do not enjoy, because it fulfills the expressly stated desire of my Savior? Whose priorities are more priority, mine, or God’s? Is the chief end of man to glorify God, or to serve his own desires?
And then there’s this follow-up: Is it possible that I could find joy in the act of obedience, even though the task itself is undesirable to me, and might that joy possibly be greater than what I might have derived from my own ambitions, as it is rooted in the person and plans of Christ?
So, there it is. I’ve said it. I don’t want to go back to PNG. I want to stay here in the States instead. I really, really like it here.
We’ll be shipping our passports off to the embassy next week to get our visas renewed.
*The Iski do this, by the way.
We are praying for you guys!
We spent time in West Africa. Here, in the states, the African-Americans light up and gush, ” Did you like it? “. Uh, equatorial heat, disease, having to worm yourself, infrequent electricity, dirty water….
” We loved the people. “
I’m a friend of the Stous’s. I appreciate your extreme truthfulness. I’ve been to India several times and can understand where you are coming from. In fact I am writing some info about missionaries about what they want us to know here in the U.S. and some of the things they experience on the field. I found out when I went to India for only 6 months you would have thought I was trying to establish a ministry in outer space instead of visiting a well established ministry.
May God richly bless your family and the hard work ahead of you.
God loves you and is with you ALL THE TIME.
BARBARA VETTEL
I’m a friend of the Stous’s. I appreciate your extreme truthfulness. I’ve been to India several times and can understand where you are coming from. In fact I am writing some info about missionaries about what they want us to know here in the U.S. and some of the things they experience on the field. I found out when I went to India for only 6 months you would have thought I was trying to establish a ministry in outer space instead of visiting a well established ministry.
May God richly bless your family and the hard work ahead of you.
God loves you and is with you ALL THE TIME.
BARBARA VETTEL
Thank you so much for your honesty. The sentence “God doesn’t ask us to do what we want to do.He asks us to do what He asks us to do.” was the exact thing that I needed to read.
Thanks for sharing!!!
Thanks for sharing your heart and memories of what God has called you to do. It is great to read really what God has laid out and you are still willing to continue to do His calling. Praying for you and the family.
Thank you!
So your a whiny weenie? 😉
I laughed. I raised my me too hand. I don’t always love my jungle home.
Encouraged by your words Seth. Thanks for sharing. Praying for your deep joy in Christ as you serve Him and for an overflowing love for the people He has placed you among. Was looking at 1 Tim 6 this morning as Paul tells slaves to put their whole heart into serving their masters because those they serve are dear to the heart of God. It was encouraging to remember for me in the context of pastoring here in the States, and I thought might be so to you as well. Praying the Lord would meet you over and over again through His word and His Spirit this year. Love you and your family. Mason
Very true. Agreed we go because He commissioned us. AMEN.
It is interesting that you have shared feelings you have in your heart regarding doing this particular work that God has led you to do in this Country so far away from where your general family is living, even though your small close family are all together in that place. May God give you a LOVE OF OBEYING HIS LEADING as you serve Him, and know that you are “earning” special Eternal blessings that God is preparing for you when it is your turn to go to Glory. You are in my prayers for your life to be blessed abundantly through your obedience to God’s calling. May God help you to “see” the blessings daily that He bestows on you because of your faithfulness in obeying His leading and direction.
Thank you so much for your obedience to Gods desires and not yours. My son and family (Brandon and Heather Young) just arrived in PNG. Your post has made me realize how important this mission is and brings home a small part of the sacrifice that is made to bring the lost to Christ in PNG. We take so much for granted here at home that we lose site our “mission”. You and your family will be in our prayers everyday as we lift up our son and his family to answer Gods call to His service. Thank you for sharing.
In Christ,
Allen Young
You are so right! I have felt that way (I want to stay home!). Bob and I have just finished 20 years as W&W coordinators in Hondures. We are in our 80’s and Bob is in Honduras at this time with a small team. Retire? I’m not sure!!
Seth,
You came and spoke at Jackson a few months back and I said that your speaking at chapel reminded me of Brad Buser. This update was pretty similar too! I wanted to encourage you by saying that this update is exactly what Christians need to hear, especially those who are “on the line” about missions. I think that in my own experiences the mission filed can be painted as the amazing adventure and really in reality it isn’t. So thank you for the honestly and transparency, this is something that I personally need to be reminded of often, that my priorities should never trump Gods Authority. I will be praying for you as you prepare your mind and heart as you return to the field.
Blessings Nate Betancourt
Well said. Amen!
Thank you for this honest post! My husband leave for Cameroon in 12 days to help at a special needs school and in planning a camp. I needed to hear this! May God bless you in your service to Our Lord.
I LOVED this!!! So very true. So very well said. So very honest!! Thanks Seth I laughed all the way through this remembering
#weallhatebugsweatinghardlivingdontwe?
Great read . Would you be ok with me sharing this on my blog, betty-wiseheartedwomen.blogspot.com?
Everything you wrote was exactly my husband & my feelings. Know exactly where you’re coming from. Had the similar Christians say the same things, same reactions. We were missionaries in PNG from 1988-2003. And why did we keep going back & pushing on? Like you said brother Jesus asked us to do it. Could I refuse my Lord when He laid down His life for me?
Will be praying for you & your wee family.
I really don’t even know what to say. My daughter, son-in-law and 3 grand-babies went to PNG for 4 years and I missed them HORRIFICALLY. I hate snakes. Yet I lived in Texas for many years. Not in tribe, but a lovely house. Less chance of a snake invasion. I’m old with cranky knees and fond of a “no bugs in my underwear” policy. Because of my age, and the fact I’d have to leave my husband to do it, I’m not feeling compelled to trudge off to a jungle. I did visit my daughter in PNG. They were in Goroka, on a center. My husband had a work commitment and was unable to come with me. I say that because it was quite the thing to fly from Houston to Dallas to Sydney to Brisbane to Port Moresby to Goroka with cranky knees, a cane and luggage – by myself. But no little children. No one crying or throwing up on me because they were tired or airsick. When I got airsick the lovely steward brought me ginger beer. I like ginger beer. And when I finally arrived in Goroka, I had my daughter and son-in-law and beautiful grandchildren to hug me, and my daughter cooked for me and I had a nice house to stay in at the NTM center. You humble me. You remind me God calls us whether we want to take the headphones off and listen, or not.
Very good points, Seth! Thanks for the reminder . . . I needed it, after 5 months on our new mission field, that is hot and humid (we enjoyed the cooler climate of Goroka a bit more for the 3 1/2 years we were there). And not that God doesn’t care how I “feel”, He is just more concerned about my becoming more like Christ. Thanks for reminding me of that in your humorous way! God bless and prayers as you return to the Iski for another term.
Thank you for your sharing! I am thankful you are embracing what God has entrusted to you. I was often asked, “Are you excited to go back?” The question was well-intended but a simple ‘yes’ can feel misleading. I always felt it should come with an explanation or clarification. However missionaries’ personalities and experiences vary and there are some that enjoy what I loathed; language study was the hardest psychological storm.
OH MY! You have just answered without a doubt. Joe & I are to continue with foster care training.
THANK YOU for your boldness Seth from God’s Word.
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it in my heart of hearts, confirmed!
Thanks for sticking it out Seth and Rochelle! I trust your transparency will inspire many others to stick it out too, not for the thrill, but for the Glory of God Alone. Blessings!
Thank you for writing this & posting it. God is using it to speak to me about acting on what He asks of me.
Excellent blog! May I have your permission to use quotes from this when I talk to supporting churches about missionary member care?
Seth and Rochelle, I knew you guys way back in the way back (Rochelle I only had the pleasure of hanging out with, sad to say, a few times before you guys started this amazing journey into your own “Well done good and faithful servant” story. I wanted to comment that I have followed your stories and pray for you guys often. This post made me so happy because it truly does level with us as those who partner with you in prayer and helps us at home to wake up more to the urgency there is to our mission as a whole. Even beyond that it helps us to know how to pray more deeply and on point for you guys. Also, you don’t sound whiney at all haha you all show great maturity in the things of God when you may not always feel it. Thank you for your example of the surpassing joy of the often uncomfortable Christian life To. Us. All. in our various circumstances.
All I can say to you and your family, is we love you lots, admire your honesty and transparency, and we share your story to many and pray for you everyday 😊
Seth and Rochelle, thank you so much for your honest and transparent update. We (Seth and Nicole) can relate in so many ways… I don’t like hiking… nicole doesn’t like gardening… I like cleanliness and modern conveniences… but He said go! Which is a command and I stand before him with no legitimate excuses of “why not me”. Like Hudson Taylor said, you need a special call to stay… we appreciate your candor and yet understanding of the the Gospel; doing what is needed to bring about His glory not our comforts. Keep up the race in PNG bro. We will try to follow here in Vanuatu. I will be writing this same post at the end of 2020 🙂 that will be after our 4 year stent and be back in USA.
I don’t know what to say !!!! Makes me feel ashamed living here in a land that flows with milk and honey .I complain if they are slow at McDonald’s.If you emailMe once in while I will remember to pray for you and your precious family .GOD Speed !!! willbradley7755@gmail.com.