When I was pregnant with Eli, I did not worry so much about when he would come out. Lots of people told me that he would probably not arrive until after his due date, so I really didn’t think about it much. Well, he came over a week earlier than we were expecting him, so the waiting game just didn’t exist.
This babe is completely different. Not only do we not really know which due date we were given is the “real” one, but we have no way of anticipating if early means next week sometime or 3 weeks from now. I do not like this game of the unknown and waiting. We are at a point in our lives where we are setting up meetings and trying to plan our calendar as precisely as possible and boy, with not knowing at all when this little one will make his entrance, it is hard to do!
Do we make plans for next week, do we not? Do we rsvp to a wedding that is 2 days after due date number 2 or do we not? Is that a cramp or is that a contraction? I do not remember any of this drama the days and weeks up to Eli’s birth, so this is just weird. I thought it would be easier this time around banking on the fact that he would probably be early, but once again, we have no idea what early means for this baby.
I think this is another way of God telling me to give up the reigns. This seems to be my biggest struggle as of late. I really love to hold on to things and try to mold them and control them in the way I see fit, but that does not work. At all. I know that whenever Jonah arrives, it will be the right time and there is no need to worry about that. (Frankly, I worry more about letting people down if we have something planned that we have to break.) But God is still in control, even if our calendar and plans don’t work out. Heck, with a newborn and a 14 month old, I am going to have to get used to never being in control!
So this is me, giving up control and submitting to the waiting game. If you would like to pray for me (and Brion and Eli) we would appreciate it. :)
Marilyn Terlinden says
Get used to it Annette! Giving up the reigns is a lifetime struggle. Praying.
Leah says
You are such a good testimony as you wait on the Lord! Hugs from afar!
Leah