I have been sick for 11 days now. There were a couple “good” days in between there, but for the most part, it’s been pretty brutal. I keep planning things to do for tomorrow and tomorrow comes and I still feel awful. No energy. Can’t eat. Should only be drinking re-hydrating liquids. Watch the world go by. Selfishly, I keep wondering when I’m going to see God in this. I know that the Lord gives us the strength to do things (and boy have I seen it this in this sick bout) but everyday I wake up feeling like I have never slept, feeling like I have the weight of the world on my aching body, feeling my stomach in constant turmoil. Where is God? Why isn’t he helping me??
Today as I was dragging my body out of bed, it became so vividly clear to me. My Husband has been Jesus to me. From day one of this sickness, Brion has been by my side or picking up my slack. He lets me get extra rest in the morning and takes care of the boys. He handled Thanksgiving in our home for almost 20 people all by himself , but don’t worry, other ladies pitched in and helped too. (After this, it was when I realized he must be super-man or have some sort of super powers.) The next day I seemed to get worse. And then it hit Jonah and Brion. And while they were both throwing up, Brion sent me out of the house to get checked out at the hospital. He was sick and he was still looking out for me above himself. We found out it was a parasite. He still took the brunt of the weight with the boys. He is still recovering and yet finds the energy to buy our groceries (on foot my I remind you), do random errands, go back to the store for other stuff that was forgotten and bought me flowers.
This man has shown me way more love than I feel like I deserve right now. He has been Jesus and I am so thankful that God has provided me such a loving, caring husband. Our boys have no idea how lucky they are to have a father like him. Neither one of us chose this storm to walk through, but Brion has shown me God’s grace and love over and over again.
If you have been praying for us, thank you. We are so grateful for that. One day we will be rid of these parasites and feel back to normal, and when that time comes, we will both be rejoicing!