Do you ever have a hard time processing what is in your heart?
I know I do.
Recently, I have struggled through a stirring that is happening in my heart.
One thing I have realized though is that I have been seeking other places for joy and satisfaction, rather than seeking Jesus, my treasure.
I have been finding my self-worth in being a missionary on this journey of partnership development. As I have written in the past, partnership development has been somewhat of a roller coaster for us. We have really great days and really hard days. So you can imagine how I am doing in the self-worth department. Some days I truly just feel like I am failing.
THAT is when I realized that my eyes and my thoughts MUST be FIXED on Jesus! My treasure.
This past weekend I had the blessing of attending our church’s women’s retreat – Joy in the Journey. We spent Friday evening marinating on 2 Corinthians 4:5-9:
For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;
I have read this passage a million times, but saw it with new eyes this time. It was Friday night when I began to see that I have missed the meaning of the phrase “But we have this treasure in jars of clay.” Whenever I have read this passage in the past I thought that the treasure was the jar – and that we need to be willing to be molded and shaped by God. But this weekend I realized that the emphasis here should not be placed in the jar, but rather the TREASURE that is inside. Jesus is the treasure – the Glory of God.
In the ancient world a jar of clay was actually a human metaphor for human weakness. I am learning that God TRUIMPHS amid human weakness.
1 Corinthians 1:27-29 says:
But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
I MUST learn to find JOY in my weakness. Me and Chandler have nothing to give. We are weak jars of clay. The only way we are EVER going to get to Tanzania is by and through Jesus!!!
But you know what? It is not all about GETTING to TANZANIA!!! It’s ALL ABOUT JESUS! My treasure. He is the one I need to seek. He is the knowledge of the glory of God!
Honestly, this is a very exciting place to be. When we come to the end of ourselves and realize we have nothing to give, we make room for Jesus to work. I look forward to seeing how HE is going to get us to Tanzania, but more importantly about the work that HE is going to do in my heart on this journey!