Avoid Assumacides

Dear Friends and Coworkers,

Today’s verse is Psalm 19:12-14 “How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?  Cleanse me from these hidden sins.  Keep me from deliberate sins.  Don’t let them control me.  May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you.  O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer.” 

I have been thinking a lot about the process of peacemaking recently.  The ABCs of peacemaking Adopt God’s attitude regarding conflict, Begin with yourself (get the Log out) and Communicate Concerns CLEARLY. 

• Check Yourself-review “B” and make sure you have removed the log
• Look for what you can overlook
• Evaluate your motives:  Are you seeking truth, or are you just trying to win?
• Avoid Assumacides – Assumptions that masquerade as truth
• Readjust your focus – Are you dealing with the Content of a present issue, are you dealing with a Pattern, or is there something deeper that is effecting the Relationship (CPR)
• Listen lovingly
• Yield to what you hear

There’s an amazing story in Joshua 22 that illustrates “A” Avoid Assumacides, so well.  Joshua has just finished diving up all the land of Israel.  He instructions Reuben, Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh that they can go to their homes on the East side of the Jordan.  But, as they leave, they stop on the West side of the Jordan and build a massive alter. That’s where verse 11 ends.

Joshua 22:12 says, “So the whole community of Israel gathered at Shiloh and prepared to go to war against them.” 

What happened between verse 11 and 12?  There was a lot of conversation to say the least, and apparently a whole lot of assumptions drawn from the facts.  The fact was that Reuben, Gad and Manasseh had build an alter.  But, why?  Thankfully they sent a delegation to those 3 tribes to ask that question.  But, before they asked the question, they told them what they were thinking. 

Another acrostic that helps me is to remember to plan for FITLY words.  Start with the Facts.  This is what happened.  Then describe you are Interpreting those facts.  “You know, you said this… and it is making me feel that…. But, I am sure I am not interpreting that right.  Can you help me understand.  That’s the “T”  Their story.  Ask them to explain.  Then Listen and Yield.

As the delegation from Israel went to Reuben, Gad and Manasseh, they shared their interpretation.

• Josh 22:16 The whole community demanded to know why you are betraying the God of Israel
• How could you turn away from the Lord?
• Josh 22:17 Was our sin at Peor not enough?  Remember the plague God sent because of that?  We are still recovering from that.
• Josh 22:18 You are turning away from following the Lord
• Josh 22:20 Didn’t divine anger fall on the entire community when Achan sinned?

In this story the priests and leaders Listened to their story, and choose to Yield to what they heard. 

Josh 22:31 When Phinehas the priest and the leaders of the community—the heads of the clans of Israel—heard this from the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh, they were satisfied. Phinehas son of Eleazar, the priest, replied to them, “Today we know the Lord is among us because you have not committed this treachery against the Lord as we thought. Instead, you have rescued Israel from being destroyed by the hand of the Lord.”

Can you imagine what would have happened had the community of Israel acted upon the assumptions, without taking the time to listen to the story of the 3 tribes?  They had good reason to jump to that conclusion.  God had judged them, as a nation, severely for their idolatry.  And what those 3 tribes did, sure looked like they were reverting back to idolatry.  Their interpretation  / assumption was based a very strong picture from history.  But, they still made the wrong assumption and came to a very dangerous interpretation. 

But, we do this all the time.  Based on our history with people and situations, when we see a similar scenario unfolding, we quickly draw the conclusion (assumption / interpretation) that this event, this action, is going to bring the same result as last time.  Then, before things ever play out, we have already made our judgement of the outcome.

We would do well to follow what the community of Israel did.  Take time to go to the person, share the facts, share how that is effecting your thinking, then ask for the to tell their story, before we jump to conclusions. 

Here’s a tool you can use in your own conversations: FITLY.

• Facts: “You guys build this huge altar…” (Josh 22:11)
• Interpretation: “Looking at that altar, it seems like you have turned away from God… ” (Josh 22:16)
• Their story: “Can you help me understand?” (Josh 22:21-29)
• Listen and Yield. (Josh 22:30-33)

Start with the Facts.  This is what happened.  Then describe you are Interpreting those facts.  “You know, you said this… and it is making me feel that…. But, I am sure I am not interpreting that right.  Can you help me understand.  That’s the “T”  Their story.  Ask them to explain.  Then Listen and Yield.

Don’t let past experiences define every new situation. Take time to talk, listen, and clarify.

Before reacting, pray Psalm 19:12–14: “Cleanse me from hidden sins.  Don’t let these thoughts control me…  May the words of my mouth and the things I think be pleasing to you.”

This will help us to avoid assumacides!  We will avoid the trap of acting upon our assumptions that are masquerading as truth!