When I thought about coming to another country, I knew that I was going to need to change a lot to be effective in that country. I never really understood what it meant until I came here.
I wanted to give you some examples of how God is working in us and allowing us to change in fun and hard ways. All of these examples are what we have learned so far and are subject to change as we learn more about life here.
We are learning to greet our neighbours properly. This means we ask about their families – husband (or wife) and children. It is similar to the States where the response is expected to be “ça vas bien”, (its going well) regardless of what is really happening. It is very important that our children learn to shake hands with everyone when they enter a room full of people. There are children here who will go from one person to the next until they shook everyone’s hand before they go off to play. I think it is a sign of their respect for the older people. Grace needs a little help with that at times; Caleb does it a little more willingly. This is a little different for us.
We are learning how to host people in our home. When we want to offer them a drink we say, “I have water or coffee, what do you want?” or ” I will bring the coffee out.” Not, “Do you want a drink or do you want something to eat?” If the person says thank you, that means no. When they leave, I should insist at least once that they stay or they will think I didn’t want them here.
We are learning how to make different foods that people like here and to eat a bit like them.
People eat around one bowl here, sometimes on the floor like we are here and sometimes around a small table with the bowl on it. We try to do this at least once a week to get our kids used to this way of eating.We are learning how to clean more like them. Bending from the waist down and not squatting or kneeling. My body is going to take some time to be able to truly bend the way they do. We are learning how to dress like they do in clothes and hair. They really like it when we do this and make comments like “Now you are Senegalese”. It shows that we accept them and their way of doing things when we dress like them.
Our national nanny, Awa braided Grace’s hair. Grace loves it, while momma is reserving her opinion…
Another thing that I am learning to change, is my reaction of surprise or shock when a friend asks for things directly, for example “give me those cookies for my house and family.” I just need to realize that it is ok and normal that they ask that, when they are my friend.
These examples above are about physical things but what about family values, how you spend your money, how you raise your kids? What are the things that are scriptural things and what things are just cultural? Where is the balance of being “a wise steward” and being culturally appropriate as well? What a wise steward is here, looks different than in the States. Here if you give to others you are a wise steward. In the States, you are wise if you save your money.
When we were in Canada at the Missions Training Centre, they told us all about “becoming”. We needed to change to become relevant to those we are around. We filed that info and now that we are in the midst of it, BECOMING is a way of life, not just like a quick change like we would change our clothes. We don’t become relevant in a day or a few weeks even, but this is going to be a life-long process. We are constantly choosing to be relevant in this culture; by the way we greet people, dress, cook, shop, visit with people, host, worship and the list could go on and on. To have a meaningful ministry among these people we must be relevant to them. We have the freedom to be like them to the degree it doesn’t contradict scripture. We will always be different because our skin colour and probably our accent, but we are looking for ways we can fit in better and live like they do. That is a constant challenge. But it is one God is giving us the grace to meet. We are learning new things everyday.
Nathan says
I love these posts! It is so interesting to hear about your experiences there and about the Senegalese people’s way of life- and most importantly in all of it, how God is giving you guys the grace to adjust and show people you accept them as they are by identifying with them. That is so cool how you have been able to do that and be so honest in sharing about the process.
I like their custom of handshaking- I think that is nice that they emphasize showing respect to elders, something that America tends to sadly lack many times, I think. I’m down with the eating out of one bowl deal too- just think of all the dishwashing you eliminate. 😉
The directness in asking for food was pretty funny to me too- sometimes with my siblings we’ve been pretty direct on such matters. lol 🙂
I definitely like that people there value generosity- God blesses us for that and it is a demonstration of faith to do that too. Thanks for the update. Praying for you all most every day. God bless. 🙂