Joel and Andi McMartin
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Mixed Emotions

March 13, 2012 by Joel and Andi

Yesterday was only one day, but in that day so many things happened.  As I sat down to write this update, I really struggled with how to accurately and concisely describe our day.  I realized it was impossible, so this post is going to be a little long.  However for those who want just the facts here they are:

  • We Found a house (pictures will follow next week).  The house is so different from anywhere we have ever lived, so different.
  • We met our host family: the pastor, his wife and their four daughters.
  • We move next Tuesday – One week to move…let the serious packing and shopping begin!
Serious Packing
Serious Packing
Well some of us are serious

Yesterday we experienced so many emotion.  For those who want more detail, those emotions are the best way that I can think of to describe our day.

  • Success – In one day we were able to find a house that meets our needs and is within walking distance of our host family.  Praise God!  We negotiated a price and are now preparing to move in next Tuesday.
  • Encouragement –  The whole day was completely accomplished all in French.  We were both very encouraged to see our progress in language.  We still have a long way to go, but we have also already come a long way.
  • Uncertainty – The house we are moving to is very different from what we are used to.  The house is comprised of separate rooms that all lead out to a common courtyard.  It was difficult thinking about how we will arrange our house.  One thing is for sure, it will take a lot of getting used.
  • Discouragement – I had two wants going into this house search: hot water and an enclosed shaded area for the boys to play. Although the house meets all of our needs, it doesn’t have either of my wants.  I have learned to live without either for 6 months, so I know I can survive.  It was just a little discouraging.
  • Confidence – It was so nice to have an African that we trusted working along side us in the process.  We didn’t have to worry that we were being taken advantage of.  It is very rare to have such confidence and so we are so grateful for our host family.
  • Excitement – Our host family was so excited to have a family eager to learn from them and work with them.  They proudly showed us around town to all the people and places they knew.  It was exciting to have someone willing to take the time to help us learn.
  • Stress – There are so many things that we have to take care of, most of which were already done for us when we moved to Africa.  It is stressful to think about how this will happen, but I know somehow it will.
  • Fear – We ate and drank everything that was put in front of us, whether we liked it or recognized it.  It is very possible that we will pay for this later, but it is also just a reality of our life.
  • Loss – This feeling overwhelmed a lot of the day.  I came to realize how familiar life had become in our house and how devastating losing that familiarity was going to be for me and the boys.  We are going to have to find a new routine, new ways to have fun and relax and a new familiarity with our surroundings.  This will come with time, but it is a very difficult process.  Perhaps this is the most difficult for people to understand, but with already giving up so many comforts, it is hard to let go of the comforts we have left.
  • Confirmation – Although we know the coming months will be difficult, we are confident that this is the next step.  That confidence will be very important during our struggles.
  • Hope – In six months our house in Dakar has become a place that I am sad to leave.  I am hopeful that in six months I will feel the same way about our new home.
  • Exhaustion – Driving home Joel confessed that he was almost too tired to drive.  It was so true.  We were exhausted.  Sending a day working entirely in French, experiencing so many emotions and also looking at the task ahead.  We were and are still just beat.

The times in life when I am acutely aware of my need for God and his strength, are usually the times when I grow the most.  I walked away from yesterday facing the reality of the transition ahead and the struggle that it will be for our whole family.  It is a similar to the feeling I had when we first arrived in Africa.  When I look back over the past 6 month I am amazed at what God has done and how he has shaped us all.  I am confident that he will do the same thing again, but also that it will be difficult.  It is times like this that I thank God for everyone who holding our ropes with prayer.  My prayer right now is simple, God give us the the strength to keep walking forward.

This is becoming a familiar sight for us
As we packed all our tupperware, it made me think of my church family. We use our tupperware everyday and are so grateful for it
Ready or not...here we move

Filed Under: Updates and News

More Posts:

« Living in a State of Readiness
Goodbye Tori, Goodbye Dakar »

Comments

  1. Molly says

    March 15, 2012 at 2:42 am

    And I thought I had a lot going on!!? I’m praying for you now… as you are probably about to start your day. I pray that you have rested well and will be able to step into the day with Joy knowing that you are in His will and in His hands. He is aware of all those details that are so overwhelming to you now. And He created you for this purpose… Love you all and am so excited to see the transition unfold. Praise God for your french capabilities! That’s awesome 🙂

  2. Mike Pinkerton says

    March 14, 2012 at 1:16 am

    God had been preparing you for just such a move. I am so proud of both of you (really all four of you). We will be praying for you every step of the way. And we will be looking to see what God does in all of this.

    Love,
    Dad

  3. Emily Mellander says

    March 14, 2012 at 12:52 am

    We are praying for you guys!!!

  4. Carolyn Gaupo says

    March 14, 2012 at 12:25 am

    I’m in awe of you and all that you do. Thanks again for keeping us in the loop. I’ll pray that your next transition will be as easy as possible. God Bless you.

  5. June Green says

    March 13, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    I am so happy you now have sponsors and a house to live in. On the other hand another big change for all of you. I pray you will find those little blessings each day that will spur you on to the next day. Knowing your personality, Andi ,that will be a challenge. BUT not too big of one for our Lord! You did it all in French?? That is amazing!
    Sending our love and prayers,
    June and Don

  6. Roger Kirchner says

    March 13, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Thanks for your informative (always!) newsletter. I don’t envy your calling, but am encouraged that you have surmounted every hurdle that has come your way. I have every confidence, with His help and provision, there’s no hurdle you can’t jump. I have a medal, on the back of which reads: “Fear knocked, Faith answered, No one was there!”…simply translated, Fear Not, I am with you always.

  7. Becky Paul says

    March 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    I’m praying!

  8. Carolyn Powell says

    March 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    I am praising God that He has placed in your hearts such zeal and commitment to serve Him no matter the cost! He will never leave you nor forsake you. May His presence encourage and strengthen you beyond human comprehension. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you, Jesus!

  9. Lauri A says

    March 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    I just love reading your blog Andi. You do it so well. I felt as if I was right there trying to process all the emotions both good and bad. I am praying for you four as you make this move. I am praying that some secret blessings regarding the house are just around the corner. You are adapting to so much change it is sometimes hard to get your arms around it all. What a adventure your boys are experiencing. We are thinking and praying for you at this time of transition.

  10. Barb. Griffin says

    March 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    OH! As a mother I hurt for you, but I know God is in control and he is going before you to prepare the way. I will continue to pray for health and strength as you pack up and move out. Praise the Lord for the house and host family.

  11. Jane Van Ryn says

    March 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing your heart. We think & pray for you often. How long will Tori stay with you? or is she already gone??? Sending our love to you as well.

  12. Shawn and Jenn DeAtley says

    March 13, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Hi guys! We’ll be praying for lots of strength during this stressful and exciting time. I hope the move goes well and that you settle in well!

  13. Andrea Pitcher says

    March 13, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Thanks for your quick update. How did you have the emotion to express all you feel so well in the space of that day??? The ability to feel, articulate and keep moving through situations is what makes a missionary able to keep flexing in all situations. You’re doing a super job at all of that – you’re going to make it! Will pray for all you experience. Lots of grace and love to cover small & big offenses in this week. Lots of intestinal fortitude (literally!) and for health as you handle the stress and physical change involved in this move. I’m cheering you on. You’re doing a super job. You’re pleasing the Lord with your heart and actions. You’re a great missionary mom – all MKs have those photos of sitting on their household goods…probably at multiple ages of life – so they’re on track to be great missionary kids (just like Joel!)

    Prayers and cheers and love and grace for us to you. Will pray all week over your needs – Andrea

  14. Chelle says

    March 13, 2012 at 11:04 am

    Thank you for sharing. I understand a bit how you feel and with your excellent description, I know exactly how to pray for you all. I love you and am so grateful that you are clinging to the Lord in this time. Change is so trying, but I’ll pray the Lord helps you maintain your healthy perspective. Love to you all!

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