Linguistics. According to dictionary.com, linguistics is defined as “the science of language, including phonetics, phonology, morphology, syntax, semantics, pragmatics, and historical linguistics.” Let me tell ya, it’s so much more than that.
I remember hearing about the Linguistics course offered here at the Missionary Training Center (MTC), for the first time, a few years ago. It was at New Tribes Bible Institute (NTBI) in Jackson, Michigan during my first or second semester. A group of students and staff from MTC came up to tell us a bit more about what the next phase of training would like, should we chose to go on. A couple of the students were in the Linguistics course, an optional “add-on” of sorts, after the regular church planting course. They told us about all the different sounds the human mouth can make, and gave us a chance to try. I remember how weird it was to attempt these different sounds. I also remember being amazed at the thought of these sounds could help for words with actual meaning something in another language. We had a Q & A session a bit later. More was brought up about the Ling course. I thought that I would probably like to take it once I got to the MTC. But that was a long ways away, and I probably wouldn’t score high enough on the aptitude test anyway.
Fast forward about 5 or 6 years, and I am in the midst of my classes at MTC. The big aptitude test is coming up. I am not sure even if I want to take the Ling course anymore or not. Mostly, because getting to the MTC took longer than I had planned and I was impatient. So, I pulled a Gideon and put a fleece out. “Lord, please. Please, please. Let me do really well or really poorly on this test. That way, I’ll know if I should take it or not.” Well, I did average. Not amazing. Not terrible. Average.
I knew the course was hard, and the fact that my natural ability wasn’t super-hero-like-amazing, just meant it would be more difficult for me. This made me not want to take it. I know, I know – fickle human that I am.
But, as I continued classes, God began to change my heart. I heard stories of missionaries doing things that they never pictured themselves doing. I was in classes about how to teach Literacy to the people we go to. I saw videos of Bible dedications, men and women receiving God’s Word, written in their heart language. If taking a few more months of classes could better prepare me for future ministry, and I am able to take it, why wouldn’t I?
So, as I write this, I am about one month in. It’s been pretty difficult. But, it’s a good difficult. I remember previous Ling students telling me that I will learn a lot in Ling, and that most of that learning won’t be about Linguistics. And, oh, how true that is! Don’t misunderstand me, I am learning plenty about Linguistics! But, God is concerned with something else- my heart.
Insecurity has crept up in my heart, these past few weeks. It’s not something I am used to. Of course, I have had days and moments of insecurity and I always feel awkward in big crowds. But overall, typically, I am pretty comfortable. But growth does not happen, cannot happen, in the realm of the comfortable.
So, I find that I am in this course, where I am so slow to process and understand things. I have never felt so inadequate. Every single day, the way I that I think is being stretched. I am such a “black and white” thinker. It either is, or it isn’t. Ling doesn’t work like that. Life doesn’t work like that. To sum it all up, I have come face to face with my weakness.
“Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.; So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
– II Corinthians 12:9-10 (NLT)
I could dwell and wallow there in my discomfort. But, then I’d just be stagnant. I don’t want to settle for stagnant. I want life. And, to have life, you must grow. Growth happens when we are at the end of ourselves In a place where we cannot do it on our own. At the point where we fall on our knees before the Lord. That is where growth happens. I want to be like Paul, and learn that my weakness is an opportunity for God’s strength to shine. I’d be a fool to think that Linguistics will be the only place I will ever be weak. The truth is, whether I see it or not, I am weak. Every single day of my life, I need Christ to be my strength.
And, so, this will be my prayer daily, if not hourly, that Christ be exalted in my weakness. And, that I will press on, because at the end of the day, the entire reason that I am taking Ling, is for Christ to be exalted. It’s to see the nations come to know life, and to “taste and see that the Lord is good.”
Alisha says
“But growth does not happen, cannot happen, in the realm of the comfortable.” <– True that, Sister.
Keep pressing on!!!!