Waiting

It is one of my least favorite things to do. I have an expectation for something to happen, and instead of it coming to fruition when I think it should, I am left waiting. 

Waiting is hard. Waiting is stretching. Waiting forces me to admit once again, something I’ve probably forgotten, again: I am not in control. Waiting takes the ball out of my court, puts it squarely in God’s and leaves me pretty powerless. Waiting, is really, really good for me. 

Psalm 27, a psalm of David, is one of my favorite psalms. The whole psalm is David pouring out his praises, his confidence and trust in the Lord because he knows that God will rescue him from overwhelming odds. He knows that the battles he’s facing will be worth it on the other side because God is faithful. The psalm finishes with this verse: Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Be strong, take heart and wait for the Lord. If anyone knew the agony of waiting it was David. Actually when you read accounts of God’s work throughout the Bible it is full of waiting. Moses, David, Noah, Israel waiting for the Messiah, Abraham and Sarah, and over all of it, God. 

As much as God making me wait challenges me beyond belief, I am so very grateful that God chooses to wait. What if He didn’t? What if He had said, “Well, I sent my son and half of you didn’t want anything to do with him, so we’re done.”? God stays his final judgement and waits out of grace and mercy. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if He makes me wait out of grace and mercy as well. When things don’t go as quickly as I would like, or even in the direction that I believed to be the right one, God is gently reminding me to wait. He actually does know the right direction and the right time, unlike me. He actually knows how quickly I will slip into patterns of thinking I’m holding it all together when there isn’t something around to remind me of how ridiculous that is. 

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. 

The more life I experience, the more I realize that the unexpected can knock the breath out of me in an instant. The future can be a terrifying prospect to an anxious person like myself. Waiting can be a terrifying prospect to an anxious person like myself. Every day is full of opportunities to put the “what ifs” in God’s hands…and then put them back again about 30 seconds later. To learn how to wait with strength and heart. Yet, I am oh so slowly learning that I can wait with confidence because I know that when God acts, the world changes. And as I wait, He changes me.