I am doing all right. I’ve been struggling a bit but I have no idea how to describe it to anyone else. Just to say that emotions are fighting me tooth-and-nail over…nothing apparently! I am doing well but feel like I’m fighting a battle and I really have no idea who I’m fighting or what we’re fighting about! Kind of like fighting the “Invisible Man”, I think. From what I can tell, my emotions are leading the charge but I have no idea what’s driving them. (Insanity or hormones??? Who knows!) But I’m female. I’m supposed to be complicated, right?! LOL!
But in the midst of this weird conflict I’ve been crying out to God and the other night he sent me a big hug. I heard from an older woman in my church back home who wrote to tell me that I’d been on her heart constantly for the past three weeks and she’s been praying a lot for me! God hasn’t stepped away; He’s just stepped out of sight but is still fervently guarding me and watching out for me! And HE LOVES ME! God LOVES me! Isn’t that fabulous?! I think it is and it quite made my night. I’m so humbled that while I’ve been fighting this weird “thing” and accusing Him of neglect, He’s had a dear woman who lives so far away praying constantly for me! I don’t deserve such love. But He’s big enough to overlook that and love me anyway!
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” ~Eph. 6:12
“…praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.” ~Eph. 6:18-20
“He has redeemed my soul in peace from the battle that was against me.” ~Psalm 55:18
“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will declare what He has done for my soul. I cried to Him with my mouth, and He was extolled with my tongue. If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear. But certainly god has heard me; He has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer, nor His mercy from me!” ~Psalm 66: 16-20