Some days…
- I am dripping in sweat the entire day
- I stare up at our open roof and want to scream
- I go outside and realize there are fewer bugs outside my house than inside my house
- I worry about how the details of how our new language helper will work out
- I don’t feel like answering our door when visitors come
- I tire of eating or drinking things I don’t recognize, don’t like, or know might make me sick.
- I get things done, but still feel like I have accomplished nothing
- I grow weary of constant correction
- I get frustrated with my children over small things like refusing to greet someone
- I wonder if God truly knows my limits
I will be honest some days I can easily relate to the people of Israel. God has done amazing things for us (provided water when we needed it, funds before even knew we needed them, encouragement and strength through the hard times). Yet there are still days when I cry out to God just like the Israelites, “Did you bring us out into the desert to die?” Could I so easily forget how He has cared for me and carried me through every trial we have faced so far? Some days it is WAY harder than others to keep pressing forward, but yet on those days I just cry out to God knowing that thankfully he is more faithful than I. This by no means is everyday, but there are definitely some days.
Carolyn Gaupo says
Hi Andi, Once again you’ve done a fabulous job communicating with us. Your dialolg and your pictures make it all so real. You certainly made the whining and complaining Israeelites very real to me. I know I’ve complained abut this or that and never made the comparison. Thank you for your sensitivity to their situation and for helping me to realize that I whine and complain just as much as they ever did. Yet even so my God is faithful and will not leave me in my misery. There are always reminders around me of His Glory and His Diety. thanks for pointing that out.
I have you often in my prayers. Your blog certainly helps me to know how to pray and keeps you upfront in my mind and my heart. God Bless you. give hugs to those delighful little boys too. carolyn
Andrea Pitcher says
SO much in this post:
Glad to hear about the language helper. A good “fit” makes a big difference in your comfort with conversation & language learning. Glad to hear you’re feeling so good about it.
Olivia and a new roof are a great combo!
Cooking for 50 over a fire? Got a lot to learn from those girls! They get the gold star for camp cooking this week. Love the kids running into the water photo – no matter where you are kids & water are the same!
So happy to hear good things from you today. We’re so happy about your Christmas visit that I cheered when Becca called to say she had her tickets (even though that means we have a Becca-free Christmas!)
Andrea
Carolyn Powell says
Andi,
You sure have a lot of prayer going up on your behalf. God is not dull of hearing and He is not unkind. Why does He allow your suffering? I feel like Job on your behalf. But as Job said,” though He slay me yet will I trust Him.” We can only keep on. Satan surely wants you to give up and go home. May 2nd Cor. 4:17-18 encourage you today. And may God come to your rescue quickly. Please, God, deliver and show Your glory through deliverance!
Amanda says
praying for you. Thanks for sharing your struggles with honesty.
May God show you His strength and perseverance on the days when it feels like there is no way out.
Jeannette Bessler says
Andi,
It is often when things are going badly by our standards that God lets us know His purpose for us being where we are. We made an emergency trip to Portland from Seneca where we were planning to spend the summer. Nothing has gone according to my plan. However, the Lord let me know something that I would not have found out otherwise. In a split second, everything from the last 47 years made sense. It was awesome. The Lord will direct you too. Even in your worst moments, He is there. Be encouraged, Andi, there are lots of us who pray for you and Joel, and the boys. Your life is a witness to those around you, even inspite of all the bugs and open roof. Thank you for sharing the tough times. It lets us know how to pray more effectively. When I go back to Seneca, I need to get 2 week old garbage out of th house, and go on a search and destroy mission against black widows and other poisonous spiders. In addition to doing what the Lord has laid on my heart.
Hugs and blessings,
Jeannette
May the Lord let His light shine upon you now and forever more!
Gaylene Horch says
Oh, golly, I was just whining that it was 103 in the Portland area today. One day of sweat and I am such a baby. Thanks for sharing and for giving me some much-needed perspective.
Hang in there. He knows.
Chelle says
I’m glad you have a place to process this and share it for your benefit and ours, knowing that you will be prayed for. I love you. I understand sometimes life is just too tiring and overwhelming. But as you said, God is faithful, even when we don’t feel like he is and he listens to our desperate pleas for help.
Barb. Griffin says
My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing the hard times that you have as well as the good times. As a mother I just want to throw my arms around you and make it all better.
Mike Pinkerton says
Thanks, daughter. Having some of those days myself. Thanks for encouraging me to press on.
Love,
Dad