You know how people say that they don’t remember what life without kids was like? Well, I have forgotten many things over the years of my life, but I surely haven’t forgotten that. I remember when we would head out late at night to get an Oreo blizzard from Dairy Queen. Or when we would sleep in late on a Saturday morning. Or when I enjoyed a delicious vanilla latte without worrying how it will affect my nursing baby. Things change as the family grows, and with our firstborn Judah having entered the terrible twos, I turned a tad nostalgic and mused on what the world of motherhood has brought me over the last years…
very, very short showers
the great & breath-taking miracle of BIRTH
more knowledge on childhood illnesses than I ever cared to have
being forced to be selfless in so many small, SANCTIFYING ways
many hours spent smelling the sweet smell of newborn skin
the doubtful privilege of having your name called an average of 200 times a day in voices ranging from joyous to demanding; from heartfelt to pleading
what-to-wear being determined by how nursing-convenient it is
amazement at how all-consuming the topic of SLEEP can become…sleep schedules, nap times, why-in-the-world-aren’t-you-sleeping…
a thorough and challenging re-evaluation of my PRIORITIES
learning to be still in the midst of chaos
a much deeper and awe-inspiring understanding of the relationship between God as our FATHER and us as his CHILDREN
the realization that the more kids you have, the fewer baths they get
the beauty of seeing my husband as a DADDY
countless and priceless HUGS & KISSES
turning into a singer/songwriter specialized in lullabies and ridiculous animal songs
decaf, please.
the weird feeling of having kids while I still feel like I’m not completely grown up
the over-the-top, motherly pride over the littlest of achievements (like Judah’s new jumping skills and Elias’ discovery of both of his feet)
Let. It. Go.
moments of total exhaustion and desperation
learning to accept that my body has been marred and scarred, and that it’s the most beautiful thing that could have happened to it
the realization that, sometimes, all you need is a NAP
a new appreciation for my own mom and mothers around me
the ongoing struggle with numbing FEAR about what could happen to my children and learning to fully and wholly TRUST GOD, the Father of all who loves my children so much more than I do
the art of taking deeeeeeeeeeeep breaths
the wondrous world of sleep deprivation
the deep, fierce, and powerful love only a mother can feel
THANKFULNESS that God would choose me — and so many others around me — to enter into the high calling of motherhood.
Alisha Miller says
Beautiful, Asmara. I loved reading this.