So the last week has been a pretty long, tiring, and hard one; but the Lord has turned it into something beautiful.
I had a panic attack.
Some of you might not think that’s a big deal, but I never have them. Ever. Tuesday morning I woke up not feeling well, I was really nervous and almost weepy; it’s not that week, so I know it had to be something else. However, I still had to go to work, so I went. I barely lasted an hour. All of sudden I couldn’t breathe, my chest was tight, my stomach cramped, I felt nauseous, I began shaking, and it felt like I was trapped in my own skin. They sent me home. Lucky for me, my mom lives less than five minutes from where I work. I called to let her know I was coming, and as soon as she answered I burst into absolutely hysterical sobbing, and it didn’t stop for a good thirty-five minutes.
Now, this is the other part of the story. For the last few months I’ve been having digestive issues, to the point that I have to lay down, pray, and try not to exist while riding in the car. Since we passed evaluation one month ago, they have gotten increasingly worse. The only thing that seems to have helped has been giving up sugar and caffeine.
Obviously, I am not a doctor, but I believe the two are connected. I also believe that the Enemy is searching for ways to discourage us, and since we’re moving along towards the field helping to bring the Good News (Truth) to tribal people, I believe that we’re being attacked. And the closer we get to going to the field, the more the Enemy will try to stop us – but I have no doubts that this is exactly the path that the Lord has us on, and that He is using us in some way to build up His mighty & glorious Kingdom.
Even though the Enemy is fighting to stop us from spreading the Truth, and sometimes it looks like he might win, he cannot stand against Jesus Christ.
The Lord has used this week to draw me closer to Himself. I’ve met with and messaged back and forth with other women, missionary wives, and daughters of the King who have dealt with the same things. It has shown me that I’m not alone, that He is sovereign, and that this season – for that’s all it is – will pass.
“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” -1 John 4:4