For those of you who don’t know, Josh is a packer. By that, I mean that I don’t ever seal a box closed when we’re packing; I leave it for him. I pack 3 boxes, he comes home and redoes it so it all fits in 1 box. It’s some kind of witchcraft, I think. But it means that we’re this much closer to going! It’s so exciting!!
We’ve been steadily packing a little bit every day. We now have a mountain of packed boxes in one corner of our living room, and an even bigger mountain of empty boxes in our bedroom. The walls are bare. The mattress is sitting on the floor. The couch is being picked up for Hospice next week. For me, this is a kind of torture. I like my house to be livable, comfortable, and neat. When we left Michigan it was different. I had a whole room we didn’t use that I could put boxes in and then close the door – and the rest of my house was neat. Here, in our one bedroom apartment, there’s no place to go to get away from the packing, except the bathroom.
So if we still have three weeks before we move, why are we doing this all now? Well, remember what I told you at the beginning? Josh is a packer. If you pack a little at a time for a while, then when you get to moving day, you don’t have a last minute scramble to pack everything. He plans everything out so beautifully, that I can’t really complain. He’s also going to be gone the week before we actually move, so that cuts our packing time down to just two weeks.
I realized last night that I’ve really been a cry baby about this whole packing thing. I desperately want things to be neat, but that’s not possible when you’re in the midst of packing up your whole life to move. Josh has been so patient with me as I desperately try to “organize” empty boxes; I’m sure that I’m frustrating him with my mania, and he has been nothing but kind.
Missionaries’ lives are transient by nature. You are nearly always moving or changing something in your life. People and places move and change constantly. I’ve never been in that situation, so here I am balking at it pathetically. This is a new chapter, one that will repeat throughout my life, and one that’s kind of hard for me.
So, I’ve decided that it’s time to put on my big girl panties and just suck it up. Live with the chaos for a few weeks. And I’m going to love it.
“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:11-13
It probably sounds like such a silly thing to you; being excited about moving, but angry at the boxes making my house messy. But, on my own, I have a bad attitude and get huffy about my house being messy. So I’m trusting the One who knows my silly heart to give me joy in the messiness.