This has been a challenging couple of weeks since we got back up here. While we were in Florida, it was easy to forget my worries and just go with the sunshiney flow of life; but everything came back to me when we returned to Waukesha. At first I dealt with it by not dealing with it. I let my attitude turn into a sour mess, my emotions ran the gamut, and it wouldn’t have taken much to push me over the edge.
It was at that point that I totally cracked. My knee was swollen and hurt (turns out it is just a bad sprain!), I was frustrated, stressed, and emotional. It seemed like one thing after another and I was so much more than done. I didn’t want to write, because what if someone saw that I was having a hard time adjusting?! What if someone saw that I am an imperfect human being?! What right does the missionary lady have to feel far away from God when she lives at a Bible school?!
Suddenly I didn’t feel like a freak anymore (despite my tear-filled eyes and splotchy red face). I felt like a child of God who had just forgotten who she was, who needed to be reminded that God is unchanging, and that being frustrated with life sometimes is okay. I can’t even describe how light I felt after that, despite being chained to a chair with a bag of ice for the rest of the week.