We recently made the temporary relocation to Canada. We have a wonderful base of support here from the time we spent here in our training. The one full winter we were here there was barely any snow and everyone said it was very unusual. Well, now we understand why they said that as it has snowed everyday since we have arrived! Luckily we don’t mind the snow and are apparently very adaptable.
Adaptable. I am tired of being adaptable. We have belongings in three countries. We have no home. We are nomads, truly. I am growing weary of all of the stretching that God is doing in us. When I think I can’t be pulled harder or stretched farther, he just goes and proves me wrong. I feel like a piece of slime or silly puddy or one of those boy dolls that were super stretchy…. I don’t remember their names now, I’m sure it will come to me in the middle of the night when I’d rather be sleeping.
While I can’t help but wonder when this stretching, when this trial, when this time of uncertainty will be over, I am trying to focus of how can I bring God glory through this
awful difficult situation. I fail. Everyday. I lose my temper with those I love most. I let my emotions get the best of me. I get caught up in worldly things. Yet I know everyday is a new one and I get a chance to try again. That God still loves me even though I don’t always glorify him.
This is something I have a really hard time grasping. That my God, the creator of the universe, loves me with all faults, all my icky sins, with all my selfishness and failures. I believe he loves everyone no matter who you are, what color, what sin or what shirt you wear equally. So why can I contort this to he loves every one a little better than me? I’ve got issues people.
While we were still sinners, Christ laid down his life for us. I know the truth. I believe the truth. Sometimes I don’t fully accept the truth or I forget it for just a minute. But my God loves me anyway. And ya know what, He goes out of his way to SHOW me how much he loves me. Since we have arrived in Canada I have seen God’s hands and feet through our church, through our friends and through people who didn’t even know us! Why am I so shocked when God shows me his love? I am his daughter and this is what a father does for his daughter; showers her with gifts and love.
And that is why we haven’t given up yet. That is why, issues and all, we are still pushing forward, still being stretched and grown, so that God can use us to increase the Kingdom of Heaven. His grace and mercy is enough for everyone and we want everyone to know it.